Relationships in Thailand
As Thai people are generally calm, tagged with their culture and history, the Thai women often make fantastic wives but as with anywhere else not in all cases.
I guess you could pigeon hole them in to certain types and overall perhaps they are not that much different from girls in other countries other than they are very willing to snap up just about any ferang that can provide what they want, regardless of age and/or looks.
There are some things you need to be aware of, and this mostly comes down to the girls priorities. First and foremost, if she has any family members that are alive, they will almost certainly come above you in the pecking order. In the case of children, I fully understand, but when the brothers and sisters appear to have a greater priority than yourself, it can be a little harder to deal with. Perhaps I have read this wrong but perhaps not. Certainly if you have a family gathering, some months or years beyond the initial introductions and novelty factor, you tend to be totally excluded from the conversation, unless your spoken Thai is good enough to understand what is going on. On such occasions, I now keep a low profile or go and find something else to do as I know I am wasting my time trying to fit it with proceedings.
I guess you could pigeon hole them in to certain types and overall perhaps they are not that much different from girls in other countries other than they are very willing to snap up just about any ferang that can provide what they want, regardless of age and/or looks.
There are some things you need to be aware of, and this mostly comes down to the girls priorities. First and foremost, if she has any family members that are alive, they will almost certainly come above you in the pecking order. In the case of children, I fully understand, but when the brothers and sisters appear to have a greater priority than yourself, it can be a little harder to deal with. Perhaps I have read this wrong but perhaps not. Certainly if you have a family gathering, some months or years beyond the initial introductions and novelty factor, you tend to be totally excluded from the conversation, unless your spoken Thai is good enough to understand what is going on. On such occasions, I now keep a low profile or go and find something else to do as I know I am wasting my time trying to fit it with proceedings.
Communication in Thailand
The key to a successful long term relationship as with anywhere else in the world is communication. This can be seriously difficult not only because of the language barrier but the cultural differences. Ong (my wife) can speak some English and certainly enough to hold a conversation for a long time however there are many times when she doesn't seem to have any idea what I am saying (especially if I am asking a question). It is almost like she will hear 2 or 3 words from a sentence that originally contained 12-15 words and she will make up the rest of the sentence herself! It can actually be quite amusing but often bemusing at the same time as you wonder how on earth she came to think what she was thinking. Her sentences, when she speaks English to me, are frequently very hard to understand as she has a tendancy to miss out what I consider to be important words, important in the sense that without them the sentence is pretty much meaningless.
For example...an out of the blue question that is not related to anything we have discussed in the previous couple of hours or even much longer.
Ong - Have you got the pictures?
Me - What pictures?
Ong - The pictures we need?
Me - Need pictures we need for what?
Ong - You have many pictures?
Me - Yes, I have many pictures but what pictures are you asking about?
and so it goes on for a several minutes, eventually she answers my first question - The pictures required for the visa application that was due in two weeks!
It can be incredibly frustrating and it does make me wonder how on earth they communicate with each other.
For example...an out of the blue question that is not related to anything we have discussed in the previous couple of hours or even much longer.
Ong - Have you got the pictures?
Me - What pictures?
Ong - The pictures we need?
Me - Need pictures we need for what?
Ong - You have many pictures?
Me - Yes, I have many pictures but what pictures are you asking about?
and so it goes on for a several minutes, eventually she answers my first question - The pictures required for the visa application that was due in two weeks!
It can be incredibly frustrating and it does make me wonder how on earth they communicate with each other.
Finding a Thai Lady
If you are looking to meet a Thai lady before arriving in Thailand or Udon Thani, or if the bar girl scene is not your thing, but want to find a 'proper' Thai lady, then perhaps you may be interested in joining a dating website, where you can search and get the ball rolling, ready for your visit to this magical country. We are partners with ThaiLoveLinks, who always have lots of Thai girls, all over the country eager to meet someone who can make them happy.
To sign up and add a few details about yourself (no credit card details), takes about 3 or 4 minutes, then you are ready to find the lovely ladies on the site. Even if you do not go searching yourself, providing you attach an 'approved' profile picture, you will almost certainly start to receive messages of interest quite quickly (especially during the day and evening in Thailand). I clocked up 16 interests within the first 90 minutes of registering, so there are lots of ladies active on the site, still looking for Mr Right.
To sign up and add a few details about yourself (no credit card details), takes about 3 or 4 minutes, then you are ready to find the lovely ladies on the site. Even if you do not go searching yourself, providing you attach an 'approved' profile picture, you will almost certainly start to receive messages of interest quite quickly (especially during the day and evening in Thailand). I clocked up 16 interests within the first 90 minutes of registering, so there are lots of ladies active on the site, still looking for Mr Right.
Rightly, or wrongly, I have broken down in to three categories of Thai ladies. It is a bit of a generalisation in parts, but I ask you do not overlook what I am trying to pass on here, as most of it is pretty accurate, and something you will find after being here for some time.
35+ Years Old
The older (35+), wiser lady (probably with one or more child) that will take care of her ferang in every way possible. Perhaps to make sure he stays with her but also because that is how they were raised by their parents. All she will ask for in return is that you look after her and her children. That may/probably involve buying or building a new house as the one she currently lives in is barely fit for living in (by western standards), providing enough money for food and clothes and perhaps some gold jewelry on occasions. These ladies are not in it just for the money, they are sincere and if you can find a lady like this you will never look back. There are some older ladies who still think that a ferang is little more than a meal ticket though and will demand more and more from you as time goes by. They do this while they still believe they can get another ferang (or Thai guy) if they wanted to. They very much live for today but still, most of them will take good care of you but they are a higher maintenance model.
25-34 Year Olds
Next are the 25-34 year olds and again there are 2 types and both very similar to the above, although if they are "real lookers" you could have your hands full as other ferang will show an interest (as well as young, randy Thai men), and she may just have a wandering eye if there is money to be made. They are also more likely to want more from you to keep them happy but that does not apply in all cases obviously. Many of these girls are likely to have children as well. This age bracket though is certainly worth considering, find a good one and you are one hell of a lucky guy.
18-24 Year Olds
Finally there are the 18-24 years old. Many are cute and many are a lot more than just cute! As appealing as it may be for a 35+ male ferang to have a younger Thai girl in their life, personally I would not think about one of these girls as marriage material as they seem to still be quite childish in their thinking and very demanding in many cases. They are young and still want to live life to the full which is likely to involve visiting their beauty salon several times a week to keep on top of their loveliness. Up to date laptops, mobile phones, clothes and countless other items are likely to be expected right from the start, and of course once you start doing that they will expect it and possibly more forever! I am not saying you cannot find a "good" young girl because it is possible, just not easy. To my mind, these girls are perhaps best left to the visiting ferang or to have some fun with for a little while.
Getting Married in Thailand
Marrying a Thai lady has become very common for many reasons, and most ferang I have spoken to have no regrets. Of course there are some that are not so lucky, but in general a Thai lady likes to make her husband happy (as long as he keeps her happy too).
Getting married in Thailand is a straight-forward enough process providing you meet certain criteria. You can have a 'village' wedding, where it is not officially registered but you are still married. This is the route many Thai couples go down and perhaps it is not surprising so many break up after a short time. You can register your marriage with the local district office (Amphur office) and to do this you need to complete a couple of other important steps first.
The first step is to obtain a "affirmation of freedom to marry" and this must be done in person at the Consular Section of the your countries Embassy in Bangkok or Honorary Consuls. It is a form where you make a declaration that you are not currently married. If you are divorced then you need to provide your divorce papers. This part of the process will take you the best part of the day as you will need to go somewhere to get your paperwork translated.
Once you have the affirmation, get married and visit your local Amphur office anytime after the ceremony. Congratulations you are now officially married!
Getting married does not entitle you to Thai citizenship, nor does it mean you can work, unless you obtain a work permit, but marriage does offer some benefits. You can now get a non 'O' immigrant Visa, valid for 90 days which will always be issued for as long as you provide the documents required. You can also obtain a 1 year Visa providing you have sufficient funds in your Thai bank account (currently 400,000 baht). This amount must have been in your account for at least 3 months prior to applying for the Visa. For further information please go to the Visa section of our website.
Getting married in Thailand is a straight-forward enough process providing you meet certain criteria. You can have a 'village' wedding, where it is not officially registered but you are still married. This is the route many Thai couples go down and perhaps it is not surprising so many break up after a short time. You can register your marriage with the local district office (Amphur office) and to do this you need to complete a couple of other important steps first.
The first step is to obtain a "affirmation of freedom to marry" and this must be done in person at the Consular Section of the your countries Embassy in Bangkok or Honorary Consuls. It is a form where you make a declaration that you are not currently married. If you are divorced then you need to provide your divorce papers. This part of the process will take you the best part of the day as you will need to go somewhere to get your paperwork translated.
Once you have the affirmation, get married and visit your local Amphur office anytime after the ceremony. Congratulations you are now officially married!
Getting married does not entitle you to Thai citizenship, nor does it mean you can work, unless you obtain a work permit, but marriage does offer some benefits. You can now get a non 'O' immigrant Visa, valid for 90 days which will always be issued for as long as you provide the documents required. You can also obtain a 1 year Visa providing you have sufficient funds in your Thai bank account (currently 400,000 baht). This amount must have been in your account for at least 3 months prior to applying for the Visa. For further information please go to the Visa section of our website.
Getting Divorced in Thailand
Getting divorced in Thailand is even easier! You both go to the Amphur office and declare that you want a divorce. You will pay a small fee (my wife tells me it is as little as 20 baht), wait perhaps 30 minutes while they sort out the paperwork and hey presto, you can go your separate ways! No lawyers involved.
Of course a divorce can lead to some other serious issues especially if you have bought land and had a house build or bought a house. With a registered marriage, by Thai law, you should still own 50% of any land you possess, assuming you registered the land in your name as well as your wife's name.
You may need the help of legal services to help you should the need arise but if you have an ex-wife that is reasonable it will make the process a whole lot easier. If you have a wife that wants to dig her heels in, you could still potentially walk away with next to nothing (sounds strangely familiar).
Of course a divorce can lead to some other serious issues especially if you have bought land and had a house build or bought a house. With a registered marriage, by Thai law, you should still own 50% of any land you possess, assuming you registered the land in your name as well as your wife's name.
You may need the help of legal services to help you should the need arise but if you have an ex-wife that is reasonable it will make the process a whole lot easier. If you have a wife that wants to dig her heels in, you could still potentially walk away with next to nothing (sounds strangely familiar).